@ur PrE-wEdDing photos

After waiting so long and eagerly, finally we could manage 2 take our pre wedding photos together...before this we have some fighting due to divert opinions and feelings...however, with our hard effort, we could finally make it too..

The process of shooting was fun..even though is very tiring but i feel that i worth it especially the outdoor shooting...we both can feel that it is so precious that we could make it together...while for me, i feel that so unbelievable that the wedding gown that i wish 2 wear on it so long is really on me...so unbelievable...most important is when my hubby told me tat he feel so fortunate having me as his wife even warmer my heart...

Looking at our self-taking photo, i am kind of vain, feel that i really pretty in wedding gowns..i really have to appreciate this because it is only once in a lifetime and it is so meaningful..holding the hand of your love one and walk along the whole life with the same pace and path...Like one of our friends wish us "BAI TOU XIE LAO"...i will always keep this in mind..it is not easy to maintain a marriage life..both parties have to sacrifice...i will remember the wedding photo shooting moment for my whole life...and learn to appreciate everything that is given by GOD...

my C@mplicated FeElings

i am supposed to be very happy and excited...my wedding is getting nearer..but due to the sudden incident...my mom was diagnosed to have breast cancer...suddenly i feel i lost of any interest in my wedding preparation...it is true that i couldn't accept the fact and always think negatively and the worst...in my mind, i will be thinking...will my mom accept the fact?? in my wedding, how people will look at her?? does she still a complete woman?? then i will think about myself...will i get this also?? any possibility that i need to undergo all these too?? hubby told me that why i like to think ahead which things not yet happen...why i always like to react like this and make people worry....for me..i feel that i am thinking of that because i want to make myself mentally prepared for that, which there is possibility to be happened...but now...i know..i know that it is time to force myself to learn to think positively...to accept everything..i know GOD is testing..i am pleading you...i will accept what you have planned in my life...but please reduce it the the minimum...i will try my very best to plant the good deed, i wish the good deed will get fine return to my family members...i want everyone in my family.everyone i love is safe and healthy...it is not under my control..it is in your hand...i really wish too..

since i was small, i always feel that i am very fortunate..i was born with love, after i grow up i always being showered by love...love from parents, boyfriend then husband..although not 100% perfect but at least i am blissful and that is more than enough...of course in a human life...there must have up and down...no matter how beautiful is your life...there sure have some cracks along the way..i believe that this is the time for me to learn to do mend the crack, learn to grow up..and the most important thing is learn to appreciate and learn to love and to be loved...after having few days of nonsense thing day...which i make myself like a 'soulless' body...my brain always loitering somewhere until i don't know what i was doing...i find fought with hubby..i think it is the way i wish to find a way to get rid of everything...we fight, quarrel, debate and cry finally....and also finally we express our true feeling...only through this channel i get out from the evil...i eventually understand one thing, no matter what is happening, what had happened..i am not alone...no matter how hard is the life...it sure will pass..that is why everyday i the school i am teaching the children past tense, present tense, and future tense...things already happened and it already become past tense..i shouldn't always look back and think of it..the most important thing is present..present tense...last time i like to think about future tense..but i think for the time being..i won't...future tense....i will wait until reach that future time only i think of that..like pa's saying...ships reach the harbour automatically will go straight...everyone is standing by with me..i have nothing to worry about...

in any relationship...not only just share happiness and sadness..and one must be persevere in holding the relationship.....because of my evil and devil and dumbly thinking, i like to think anf feel nonsense...GOD is fair..He always want to train me to become a real person..but He afraid that i couldn't take it..hence, he puts me to be my father's daughter..whom will always protect me from any harm..he appoints my hubby to stay with me no matter how nonsense, how stupid, how stubborn i am..no matter how much, how deep i hurt him, he will always be with me..bear with me...just sometime i just couldnt control my mind..i am just like that...after find fight with him...after quarrel with him...uncounsciously there is a strong energy awakening deep in my heart...suddenly i really feel relief, feel fresh, vigorous and new...now...i need to be brave..i need to help my mom..but not in the opposite they help me...and i shouldn't let this ruin my life, my blissful marriage...i should let everything run as normal, as it is supposed to be...no matter how hard is the life currently, anytime, anyday it will pass, then the new day come...i want to build my family..my normal and blissful family..i want my baby to come to this new world..i want shower them with love as what love that being showered to be so long...i believed i can make it..i am a super mother and wife..and teh most important thing is, i am not always alone...my hubby will sure always to be there with me... and wont allow any bad thing happen to be also...i am thankful that i find fought with him,,then only i realised how much he loves me...how me he could tolerate with me...how much he wish to protect me from everything..just like my father...and maybe my father has got a guy that he could believe and hand over me to him...and then at this moment only my mom sick...maybe that is the men's job to protect their lovely women in their whole life..never end..

To my hubby..i duno what to say anymore..to maintain a marriage it really need a lot of determination and perseverance..just want to say thank you...for still supporting me and bear with me all the time..i love you..